Steven Wright:  “Everywhere is within walking paddling distance if you have the time.”

Steven Wright:  “I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.”

Last Monday, it felt like the day after Christmas in a house full of children. What now? A marathon buildup had led to a very long weekend on a very long lake, but then it was over. We had survived. Better yet, we thrived. The segment of our proposed quest to paddle the length of Lake Champlain that worried me the most has now been relegated to a check mark on my list of “Sections To Do.” There is no further need to pour over my book of nautical charts and bevy of road maps looking for takeout options in case the trip should go wrong, because the trip did not go wrong. Nor will I have to theorize on possible permutations of paddling distances and routes that would accommodate paddlers who might not be able to complete an entire leg, because each day all of the paddlers did complete the entire leg. And the minor logistics … where to stop for lunch, answering the calls of nature, parking without being towed, avoiding both hypothermia and heat stroke if the water temperature and air temperature headed for opposite extremes, and coordinating paddling outfits … what of them? They are all gone, swept into the trash can that stores hypothetical hyper theories, because once again the Malden Yacht Club did what it does best. It simply got on the water and paddled, and at the end of two days, this seemingly complicated journey was reduced to “Oh, well …been there … done that.” So my question remains. What now? Continue reading ‘Westport To Willsboro: A Winsome Wander O’er A Windy Way’ »

Joey Adams: “Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.”

Jay Leno: “The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they’re the ones falling down the most.”

Today, a group of (cheerful) (grumpy) (tired) (hung-over) (puzzled) [you select the correct term] paddlers will set out from Westport, on the west shore of Lake Champlain, to continue the Malden Yacht Club’s trek down the lake. If all goes well, the section from Westport to Willsboro will be checked off by Sunday afternoon. But it almost didn’t happen. It seems that the Ol’ Procrastinator put off reserving rooms until almost none were available, and only concerted assistance from a group of motel owners in the north prevented a sure disaster in the form of infinite ribbing of a certain Ol’ P. I have learned from this mistake, and vow not to let it happen again … this year. Therefore, I am starting the ball rolling right now to get the August trip in everyone’s thoughts before we have so much as dampened a paddle blade on the May trip. If you have entertained the slightest thought about participating in the August trip, then you should pay close attention to the next paragraph. Continue reading ‘Auguring an august August trip’ »

Sir Joshua Reynolds: “There is no expedient to which a man will not resort in order to avoid the real labor of thinking.”

Ogden Nash:   “Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?”

Now that I have concluded the nearly never-ending story about the Malden Yacht Club on Lake Champlain in 2008, it is time to revert to the blog-buffet style of posting that I used during our active months last year. Like most buffets, you will have multiple choices. Better yet, in order to accommodate your desire to sample everything, I will keep the portions of my Ol’ Philosophization smaller. Yes sir, now that summer is nigh upon us, I will be a lean, mean, trimmed down blogging machine. To prove it, I’m going to get right into the meat of the matter right now. And when you think “meat,” you have to be thinking about the Malden Yacht Club Opening Day Celebration. Continue reading ‘U.B. The Bard, And I’ll Be Ol’ P’ »

Edward Abbey:  “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.”

Michel de Montaigne:  “No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.”

This will be the last in the series about the Malden Yacht Club’s adventures on Lake Champlain in 2008. In two short weeks we will go back, and attempt to create a new set of tales. Until then, I need to wrap up the 2008 model by posting the final episode of the abridged version of “Exploring Lake Champlain, Malden Yacht Club Style!”, the 130 page actual, factual, perpetual text you all have tried to avoid … with limited success. Like an adamant mother at the dinner table, I have persisted in feeding you this history in small doses, and your dessert is close at hand. This is the last of the shrunken dozen, so often proven lumpen, and when you have finished with this, you can go outside and play. But first, you are going to sit right there until you have swallowed every word of this tale, so stop stalling, and get to work. READ! Continue reading ‘Interminable Tales Of The MYC On Lake Champlain in 2008 … The End?’ »

Roger Waters:  “I’m in competition with myself and I’m losing.”

John D. Rockefeller:  “Competition is a sin.”

Have you ever had a weird thought? No, not that kind, but one you can mention in mixed company. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. It has probably happened to you countless times. You might be minding your own business, driving down the interstate or washing the dishes or trying to decide which flannel shirt will best complement the unusual patterns on your unwashed, coffee stained jeans, and all of a sudden it comes on you like a chill wind after an August thunderstorm. A question that has never before occurred to you, but now must be answered. Which is stronger, a rhinoceros or a hippopotamus? What seems to last longer with less laughs, a Woody Allen movie or a Jon Stewart monologue? What tastes worse, Brussels sprouts or … wait, nothing tastes worse than Brussels sprouts. So you remain transfixed, pondering the question, your un-shirted torso gathering goose bumps as you try to make sense of it all. Maybe you even try to solve the riddle. If you are lucky enough to be where friends are nearby, you might solicit their opinions. Then, a brief, spirited debate will flare up that is packed with as much electricity as said summer thunderstorm, but only to fizzle just as quickly. Eventually, the chill breeze that washed over you moments before is gone, and your curiosity is stifled by the returning humdrum-ity that marks everyday life. And you never did find a satisfactory answer to that intrusive question. Continue reading ‘Racing Thoughts Are Confufing’ »