Robert Benchley:  “Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.”

Paul Anka:  “The thing is to be able to outlast the trends.”

I had planned to tell a different story today, but you know how I feel about plans. Don’t make’em unless you’re prepared to ignore’em. This actually works for your benefit, as I have chosen a much shorter tale to tell. That way I can include the latest submissions from the Bad Idea Man and U.B. without taxing your attention span. Oh, what am I thinking? It’s already been taxed. Hang in there … the pictures are coming. Want more good news? How’s this? If enough people start sending in stories, you may never have to read another word of ol’ philosophization. Or maybe that is my way of setting you up for an early April Fool’s Day joke. Folks, if that prospect is starting to make you feel just a wee bit nervous, don’t worry. If you can’t trust the Ol’ Philosophizer, who can you trust? Continue reading ‘Hey, Ol P, What REALLY Happened While Kayaking on Lake Champlain? [Part 9]’ »

Dave Barry:  “Camping is nature‘s way of promoting the motel business”

Jeff Mallett:  “Writing well means never having to say, ‘I guess you had to be there.’”

I have just returned from a fantastic five day trip to Atlanta with Piled Higher and Deeper, a part-time commentator on our blog, and a full time progeny of the Ol’ Philosophizer. If you happen to be a college basketball fan, like the two of us are, this trip bordered on “Net Nirvana,” what with there being 11 pressure packed games in 4 days, all viewed while surrounded by the same eclectic collection of rabid, but super-friendly, southern roundball junkies. It had the adrenaline producing atmosphere one might expect at an indoor NASCAR event (without all the noise, but with more teeth), combined with the grace, charm and eye-catching splendor of a southern cotillion. And I’m not even going to get started on the waitresses in the South, who have advanced the act of flirting to an art form. In fact, I’m not going to discuss my trip at all. I merely mention it because I have been kayak-less, computer-less, (and clueless?) for nearly a week, which places me way behind schedule in preparing this blolumn. Fortunately for me, and even more fortunately for you, I don’t have to do much this week because we have a guest writer carrying most of the burden. Yep, U.B. is back! Continue reading ‘U.B.‘s Fain To Complain Of Pain And Ptomaine On An Arcane Train’ »

Mae West: “Too much of a good thing is wonderful.”

Bob Denver: “Gilligan’s Island is wherever you want it to be in your mind.”

It has occurred to me that even though I advertise this series as being a history of the Malden Yacht Club’s kayaking trip to Lake Champlain, I haven’t actually talked about kayaking all that much. Today I will make up for that omission. This narrative covers most of our last day in 2008 on Lake Champlain. All kayaks have been dropped off, and the car shuttle completed. There is nothing left but for the full group - all thirteen of us - to set off for Westport. We may have wished for calm waters, but wishin’ and gettin’ are two different things, and today we would have to endure the corkscrewing forces of a following sea. That fact had not gone unnoticed by the paddlers who had been waiting for the small group to come back from shuttling the cars to the finish. Were they concerned? Judge for yourself. Continue reading ‘Hey, Ol P, What REALLY Happened While Kayaking on Lake Champlain? [Part 8]’ »

Friedrich Nietzsche:  “It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”

Mark Twain:  “The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

Seven. I think seven is a nice number. For one thing, it rhymes with heaven, and that can’t be a bad thing. And for another, it is one of the few numbers that I can write, and still have some hope that other people might figure out what I meant. Why else do I like “seven?” Maybe it’s because there are seven seas, seven days in the week, seven spots on a ladybug, or seven stars in the constellation The Big Dipper. Did you know that seven is the number of holes in the heads of most mammals, the Malden Yacht Club excluded? Wouldn’t you like to traipse around the seven hills of Rome, or better yet, climb the Seven Virgins mountain range of Sri Lanka? Continue reading ‘Ol’ Philosophizer’s Top Seven Places To Kayak’ »