James Thurber:  “It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all.”

Alice Roosevelt Longworth:  “The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.”

Today is January 31st. The emphasis in that sentence is on the 31st. Yet I’m not hearing a roar of recognition re refrigeration rectification rising o’er the ridges, so let me put this another way. This is the last day in January, and when it is over, three fourths of the Ol’ P’s declared and decreed dastardly dark months will have departed and started the slow return to warmth and light. Today is the February “zero” that immediately precedes the beginning of the shortest of the morose months, and we are now officially on our way toward kayaking season. With a little luck, some of us will be on the river in six or seven weeks, and if that isn’t enough to stir a shout out, then I’m writing for the wrong group. And for those stubborn souls who think we should be going right now, maybe you should take a peek at the picture that follows. Continue reading ‘Hey, Ol P, What REALLY Happened While Kayaking on Lake Champlain? [Part 5]’ »

Mark Twain:  “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

Mark Twain:  “Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.”

It’s a slow time of the year for kayakers, yet I find myself with a lot to report. Normally that would mean that I would stick very many words in this blolumn and, seated so long at your computer,  you would risk saddle sores trying to ride read through it. But not this time. I have heard the whispered complaints, and I will keep this as short as a heat wave in January. That should warm the cockles of your heart. Continue reading ‘Barges, Blustery Breezes, And Bone Chilling Cold: A BRUTAL Way To Start The Year’ »

Leonardo da Vinci:  Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

W. C. Fields:  Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.

It’s time for another episode of the thrilling adventures of the Malden Yacht Club on Lake Champlain in 2008, but which one should I choose? Folks, that question is a lot harder to answer than you might imagine. For one thing, the Elite Eleven produced plenty  of potential parables during its journeys to the far north, and by selecting one I may be slighting a dozen more. But second, and much more importantly, I have to choose stories that are short enough to fit the attention span of my targeted audience. That fact alone reduces the tellable tales by quite a few, although I am still left with a fair faction of fascinating fables to fancy and feature. Ah, which one, which one? When I get stuck like this I turn to external sources to give me a sign, and today I got one from today. Today is January 17th, and that’s all I needed to know to make my decision obvious. Continue reading ‘Hey, Ol P, What REALLY Happened While Kayaking on Lake Champlain? [Part 4]’ »

Joseph Conrad: “It is not the clear-sighted who rule the world. Great achievements are accomplished in a blessed, warm fog.”

Joe E. Lewis: “I always wake up at the crack of ice.”

What do you get when, three days after Christmas, you mix very cold water, leftover ice chunks crunching in the Hudson, a mound of residual ice and snow on the boat ramp, rambunctious winds from the south, fog fighting for supremacy, and a sixty degree air temperature? Oh, and I almost forgot, sprinkle in a handful of Malden Yacht Club paddlers who are darting here and there, trying to get up close and personal with each and every one of those ingredients before one or two faded into oblivion (the ingredients, not the paddlers … before one or two of the ingredients faded into oblivion). Don’t know? Then you didn’t show up to paddle on the Sunday after Christmas, and by doing so, you may have missed the biggest gift in Santa’s sack. Continue reading ‘Wandering In A Winter Weather Wonder Water World’ »

Dan Quayle:  “It’s a very good historical book about history.”

Harry S. Truman:  “Study men, not historians.”

Today I am going to talk about history. It seems that the older I get, the more that subject intrigues me. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen so many things that are now considered historic, which doesn’t seem quite right for someone as young as I think I am. What’s more unsettling is the fact that I’ve forgotten half of all those historical observations that I’ve experienced first hand, leading me to utter an “oh yeah, I remember that” whenever I’m reminded by the younger generation that I was alive when such and such happened. But I’m getting off track … my mind does seem to wander from time to time … which could explain why it’s usually not in the same vicinity as the obscure memory of a semi-significant event that some inquisitive soul wants me to recall. Now where was I? Oh yeah, I’m going to talk about history. The particular history that I plan to write about … if I can ever get myself to focus … deals with events that occurred over two hundred and thirty years ago on Lake Champlain. (Fooled you, didn’t I. You probably figured that I was going to bring up the Quadricentennial again, but I didn’t. Yep, the Ol’ Philosophizer has more than one trick up his sleeve.) Oh crap, I’ve done it again. Where was I? Wait, I remember, I was mentioning historic events that occurred on Lake Champlain in the 1770’s. Boy, I thought I would never finish this paragraph. Continue reading ‘Hey, Ol P, What REALLY Happened While Kayaking on Lake Champlain? [Part 3]’ »