William de Morgan: “I don’t want to achieve immortality by being inducted into the Hall of Fame. I want to achieve immortality by not dying.”

Ambrose Bierce: “Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)”

Have I ever mentioned the fact that the Malden Yacht Club is unlike your typical social organization? Yeah, I think I may have hammered that point home from time to time. Still, every now and then I feel the need to explain the various ways we are different from, oh, let’s say for the sake of example, a local chapter of The International Order of Odd Fellows. (I must admit that I am very sorry that they grabbed that name before we did!) By now, you frequent readers, all both of you, know that the Malden Yacht Club is not governed by any copious code of correct conduct. Instead, club decisions are based on whatever precedent we can find in our vast trove of legends and traditions. Usually, we make these up on the spot to suit our needs, and then disregard them when they get in the way of potential fun. This total lack of procedural guidelines works well for us, but it is not the only one thing that sets the MYC apart from the other Odd Fellows. Another distinction is the fact that we don’t have any officers. Continue reading ‘Boy, Oh Boy! Do I Have An Idea!’ »

Jane Wagner: “The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.”

Mike Myers: “Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.”

This coming Thursday, the Malden Yacht Club will hold an event that once would have been absolutely inconsistent with the MYC philosophy. We will be having a night devoted to rescue practices. I guess that’s proof that there has been some growth in the group that convenes at the Malden Pollution Solution and Redistribution Institution, and it’s not the kind of growth that sends you scurrying off to see a dermatologist. Maybe it’s the influence of all that fertilizer that surrounds our proceedings, the bulk of which hangs heavy in the air during the post-paddle, dehydration-mitigation, philosophization-stimulation, and innovation-revelation convocations that immediately follow kayaking. Or maybe it’s the result of the recently arrived combination of the Paddle Kayaks Properly influence and youthful enthusiasm, both of which seem to be making significant inroads in determining the direction the Malden Yacht Club will be taking. Or maybe it’s just a natural progression that was destined to happen from the very beginning of the MYC. Whatever the reason, I can tell you this. There was a time, back in the good old days, when the early paddlers of the Malden Yacht Club would have scoffed at the notion of learning any type of rescue. Continue reading ‘The Rescues Are Coming, The Rescues Are Coming’ »

Norman Ralph Augustine: “Most projects start out slowly - and then sort of taper off.”

George Bernard Shaw: “Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.”

It’s summertime. Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime. Anyone who doubts that, must have been away during the first weekend of June. The 90’s were back, and I’m not referring to what this year’s crop of graduating seniors might call “golden oldies.” As much as Mrs. Ol’ P pleads her case for a continued Spring, while energetically pointing at the 21st day of June on the calendar, the reality is that Summertime is here. Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime. Continue reading ‘It’s Summertime’ »

Hagar the Horrible: “As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.”

Mark Twain: “Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

Now here’s an irrelevant thought for you. What significance should be accorded an organization that has no traditions? I believe that the answer to that question is self-evident. “Zilch.” How are you going to keep the members coming back if you don’t have your rituals? Why, it can easily be said by the joiners of the world, with a fair amount of confidence that the statement will not be refuted, that the sole purpose for belonging to a social organization, is to participate in the quaint customs that distinguish it from its siblings in the family of societies. It is certainly hard for the Ol’ Philosophizer to imagine attending a meeting of The International Order of Jackasses, without being allowed to bray a Hee-Haw from time to time. No sir, it just wouldn’t be a group if it didn’t have traditions, and that principle applies to nonexistent organizations as well … like the Malden Yacht Club. Continue reading ‘This Ain’t No Bull (Wink, Wink)’ »