Fred Allen: “A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.”

Anyone who has read most of my stuff … OK, that probably eliminates just about everyone … or anyone who pays attention to what I say … once again, I’m eliminating a big segment of the world’s population here … knows how I feel about “planning.” For all the rest, I will explain. Planning is perfectly acceptable for responsible, adult like, activities such as organizing golf tournaments, or picking out assisted living facilities. But it has no place in the Malden Yacht Club. We are below that. A disorganization that touts “we don’t claim to know what we’re doing”, “undaunted by our lack of judgment”, and “anarchy afloat” among its slogans de jour, cannot possibly have room for “planning” on its unwritten list of acceptable activities. Unfortunately, every now and then, a member of the MYC will backslide, and lapse into a fit of fine-tuned forecasting. That’s when the rest of us have to step forward, and steer him back to the meandering course we prefer to follow. Just like we did the other day at the big red house on the hill. Continue reading ‘This Is Why We Don’t Plan’ »

Oscar Wilde: “Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.”

And A special quotation for Coop:

Winston Churchill: “The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.”

We have all heard … and possibly used … the expression “life imitates art.” That cliché has become one of the favorite aphorisms cited by reporters and commentators worldwide. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the use of the “L.I.A.” phrase is the first thing taught in Journalism 101. What are the chances of finding a news story about young, star crossed lovers without spying an obligatory allusion to Romeo and Juliet somewhere in the first three paragraphs? Take it from the Ol’ P, that just isn’t going to happen. And can you imagine reading about a paddlewheel steam boat being destroyed by a descending drawbridge without also seeing a reference of the classic, Porky’s Revenge? Not a chance of that happening either. Why? Because it has become accepted without question that, yes, sometimes life does imitate art. So I guess it should come as no surprise when I tell you that recent events in Malden suggested that life in the Malden Yacht Club might be mimicking a cinematic classic … and no, it wasn’t One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Continue reading ‘Get Thee Gone, Gremlins!’ »

Winston Churchill: History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

Several years ago, I pondered the possibility of attempting to distill my decade of kayaking into a collection of well constructed, humorous, and potentially wealth producing anecdotes. Of course, as I often write, “sayin’” and “doin’” are two different things, so it only follows that “thinkin’” and “doin’” are even farther removed. Nevertheless, whenever I get these harebrained inspirations, my brain completely excludes any possible negative implications. All I can foresee is a panting public cheering my insightful thoughts, and my place among the literary immortals being proclaimed by acclimation. The fact that I’m not a real writer never seems to dampen my enthusiasm. Continue reading ‘The Ol’ Philosophizer Reminisces’ »

The Malden Yacht Club versus Mensa

James Thurber: “Don’t get it right, just get it written.”

Winston Churchill: “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

This fable has been written as the result of a challenge received from longtime instigator, Benny, a/k/a Mr. Tangerine Man (the lyrics to “Hey! Mr. Tangerine Man” are set forth in Appendix “Appendix”) . Briefly put, the Ol’ Philosophizer was challenged to write a piece about an actual event involving Malden Yacht Club people. No problem so far. However, to increase the scale of difficulty, I had to include certain words that the Washington Post had declared to be winners in a Mensa challenge. These words were divided into two categories: “adjusted words” (words altered by the addition, subtraction, or changing of one letter so as to give the word a new meaning), and “alternate words” (common words that are assigned new meanings). Benny’s challenge was for me to use at least 9 of the 18 “adjusted words” and all 5 “alternate words.” The MYC does not shrink from ridiculous challenges, so I have decided to meet this one, and more. In addition to the words assigned by Benny, I have included Malden Yacht Club suggested “adjusted” and “alternate” words. Continue reading ‘The Ol’ Philosophizer Responds To A Challenge’ »