Tommy Smothers: “When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re finished.”

Last week I attempted to get the ball rolling for our inaugural visit to Lake Champlain. So far, five of us have committed to go, while the vast majority of the Malden Yacht Club has remained uncharacteristically silent. Is it the cold weather that mutes the chorus, or could it be a dread of the unknown? Despite its relatively close proximity, Lake Champlain has somehow escaped the notice of the kayakers who call themselves the Malden Yacht Club … until now. We have had our attention directed toward this majestic mega-lake, mainly mysterious in Malden, and some of us quaver in excitement at the prospect of discovering a new place, just like the explorers of old. Well, maybe it won’t be quite “like the explorers of old.” We may take advantage of a several more resources than they had, like Google Maps, various travel guides, and road trips organized by the Ol’ Philosophizer under the guise of “scouting missions.” But except for that … and the fact that some of us will insist on staying in habitats with comfortable beds, hot and cold running water, cable TV, maid service, and a pizza joint within walking distance … we will be venturing “into the wild” (say, that would be a good name for a book … and a movie). Continue reading ‘It’s Time To Break Out of Winter’s Grasp And Jump In A Lake (part 2)’ »

Roald Amundsen: “Adventure is just bad planning.”

E. B. White: “I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.”

It is now Spring … HOORAY! Some of the hardcore Malden Yacht Clubbers have already donned their dry suits, and reintroduced themselves to the river. Within a month, the thrice weekly paddles will have become ingrained habits for most, and cars and kayaks will head for the park automatically. For the more conservative, somewhat safer (saner ?) paddler, this process will be slightly delayed. Still, it will eventually happen, and without thinking or planning, we will be back to our normal routine. And once we get into a rut, dynamite can’t dislodge us. So maybe now would be a good time to start thinking of the different things we might do … in addition to the normal abnormal ones. For a start, let’s consider Lake Champlain. Continue reading ‘It’s Time To Break Out of Winter’s Grasp And Jump In A Lake (part 1)’ »

Steven Wright: “If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?”

Do you ever wonder how I come up with all the stupid things that I write about? You don’t? Well, I sure do! Now that I’ve made a commitment to try to post something each week, I’ve become prone to bouts of anxiety that I may not be able to think of anything to say. Just imagine that! Well, it’s true. I often sit and stew while trying to think of something even slightly amusing to write, only to give up in total frustration. But then out of the blue, I might hear about a story involving one of our own, or something newsworthy ignites a spark, and I’m off and writing until the inspiration fades. Then it’s back to more sitting and stewing until someone else goes out and distinguishes himself for our amusement. Continue reading ‘THE IDES OF MAC OR THE TIDES OF MYC?’ »

The Top 10 Reasons Why the MYC should be THE SLIMY CRAPPY PROFITEERS of the Quadricentennial

(part 2)

Allan Sherman:  “They sit there in committees day after day … And they each put in a color and it comes out gray … And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty … That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.”

Given that the memory of the average Malden Yacht Clubber is jam packed with recollections of frosty brews and comradely kayak cruises, there is not much space left over to retain the learned literature lined by the Ol’ Philosophizer. It would come as no shock to the Ol’ P if most of  my cronies have already forgotten what I wrote about last week. Too bad. It was good stuff. I could repeat myself … I’m at the age where that type of behavior is expected … but I won’t. I could repeat myself … I’m at the age where that type of behavior is expected … but I won’t. Continue reading ‘The Malden Yacht Club And The Quadricentennial - part 2’ »

The Top 10 Reasons Why the MYC should be THE SLIMY CRAPPY  PROFITEERS of the Quadricentennial
(part 1)

Henry Hudson: “This land may be profitable to those that will adventure it.”

W. C. Fields:  “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.”

The pug-ugly bug Magicicada Cicadidae Cicadoidea serves as a model for the Malden Yacht Club in two respects: it has a magnificent name that belies its uninviting appearance, and it lives underground for 17 years at a time before making itself visible to the public. There is no need for the Ol’ Philosophizer to expound on the first similarity (some things are just too obvious), but as to the second I would say that the MYC prefers to be as invisible as the lowly cicada. However, there comes a time … usually less than once every 17 years … when circumstances arise that cry out for our intervention. Just such a circumstance arose six years ago, but because we tend to be a little slow on the uptake, we have only recently become aware of it. Continue reading ‘The Malden Yacht Club And The Quadricentennial - part 1’ »