This is going to take some getting used to. I used to think that I was the retro-adolescent in the family, but now it looks like I may be lucky to come in second in that department. For the last half-dozen years I have been able to act freely on many of my youthful yearnings because I knew that if I ever went too far, Mrs. Ol’ P would be there to rein me in. I took comfort from the fact that she would be my safety net, and would prevent me from doing serious damage to myself should I happen to tumble while trying to be the daring young man on the flying trapeze. But suddenly things have changed. Mrs. Ol’ P has climbed onto her own trapeze, and hers seems to be flying even higher than mine. Yes sir, this is sure going to take some getting used to. (more…)

Brian McBride:  “Competition helps people figure it out.”
Last weekend, Mrs. Ol’ P and I spent eight hours standing, sitting, or milling about a parking lot situated several miles south of Lake Ontario. Though the day was mostly sunny, the temperature barely exceeded fifty degrees, and that explains the “milling about” part of our day. The sitting and standing parts take more time to explain, but fear not. It is well known that I have too much time on my hands, and that is a luxury that will allow me to explain in detail why we would spend an entire Saturday in a parking lot. For now, though, it is sufficient for me to say that we were present to view the Catalyst Games, and though our minds may have wandered while we milled about, our attention was absolutely focused while we stood or sat. The organizers had promised to deliver three separate events that included non-traditional feats of strength and endurance and were sure to challenge any athlete, and that was a promise they easily kept. The day was indubitably cool, both literally and figuratively. (more…)

Earlier this week, I wrote a post that some might have interpreted as being negative toward the concept of standardized tests. That certainly isn’t true. I view standardized tests as being a sort of fiber for the brain, and like fiber, I think that everybody should take them on a regular basis. Therefore, in order to promote that belief, I have prepared one of my own, and surprise, surprise, you’re going to get to take it. You don’t even need to own a number two pencil. All you need is an open mind and a spirit of adventure. Of course, there are some people who might be of the opinion that I’m not qualified to draft a standardized test, and to them I say this: I had help! First, I borrowed the infamous racing pineapple question as a guide. Oh, heck, let’s be honest here. I stole the whole darn question and then, using a cache of testing contraband I found on the internet, I supplemented the original test question with unauthorized performance enhancing details! I bet you sports fans are curious about those supplements, aren’t you? Well, just hold on for a minute, and I’ll explain. (more…)

During the last two weeks of April, you can find elementary and junior high school students all across New York State taking standardized tests. Having spent all of a half dozen hours a week, for two years, volunteering in an elementary school, I now know that I know just enough about education to know that I don’t know nearly enough about education to write an informed post on this subject. (But with a sentence like that, I bet I’m qualified to draft standardized tests.) Though I consider myself to be an educated person, I readily admit that I’m not an educator. Therefore, I can’t justify posing any questions or opinions on the subject of high stakes standardized tests. It wouldn’t be right for me to ask if, when it comes to young kids and testing, does one size actually fit all? Academically speaking, do we really have standard sized kids for our standardized tests? Nor will I wonder if the interests of our children would better be served if much, much shorter tests were given intermittently throughout the year, rather than marathon sessions at the end of the year. And I absolutely will not speculate about the possibility that periodic testing, calculated to measure learning, not endurance, might better measure the progress that students make, as they make it, and might even offer an opportunity for individual course correction long before the annual journey through the halls of education has been completed, unlike year-end tests which merely tell you how far off course you sailed. No, without having even the slightest grasp of the fundamental philosophical principles of education, it would be inappropriate for me to hypothesize harebrained heresies like that. Instead, let me pass on to you a couple of publicly reported anecdotes about standardized tests that I happened to run across this week, one of which proves that I‘m not the only harebrained writer out there. (more…)

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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“That’s the problem with PFD’s; the only times you need to wear them are those times when you need to use them. The trouble for me is that, although I have one hundred percent accuracy in identifying those times in hindsight, I don’t have a corresponding ability in foresight. So I wear mine all of the time, and content myself with the fact that I may be sparing my widow and kids from hearing people say what a dumb son of a beach ball I was for paddling on that particular day without my PFD. Besides, I also look at wearing a PFD as generating a ‘stupid credit,’ similar to a carbon credit, which entitles me to do something really outrageous in a safer setting, like for instance, burp the Battle Hymn of the Republic in a five star restaurant. You can’t go wrong with that outlook, can you?”

In was during the course of contemplating that comment that I had an inspiration. What if the Malden Yacht Club became the world’s first ever Stupidity Credit Brokers? (more…)

Fred Allen:  I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

MYC, have I got a proposition for you. If you let me use your blog for a while in order to propagate my profundities, in return I promise to …uh … hmmm … just what can I promise to do? Well, let me get back to you on that. In the meantime, I probably should explain the situation. Since I last posted on this blog, I embarked on a journey to follow the ways of the true anti-hermit by making a pilgrimage to the land of the eternally youthful - an elementary school. There, under the two year tutelage of several dozen second graders, I learned the KISS approach to leading a happy life: Keep It Short & Silly. In the second grade, the ditsy denizens don’t dwell on any one area long enough for it to get boring, and positive reinforcement flows from above with a stronger current than we will ever encounter in the Hudson River. It’s a winning combination. If I could choose but one precept to guide my remaining years, it would be this: be as emotionally resilient as a seven year old. They can turn a frown into raucous laughter faster than I can lose my train of thought, and that’s pretty darn quick. Yes sir, if “60 is the new 16,” then let’s hope that “70 is the new 7.” Now where was I? Oh yeah, I need to borrow your blog, and you need to know why. (more…)

Winston Churchill:  “Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.”

Although the accomplishments of a group are most objectively viewed by someone outside the organization, it is much more satisfying when someone on the inside does the “our story” inventory. When a participant tells the tale, the familiar become fecund, fantasy flourishes, and facts ferment into fabulous fables. With the aid of artful massaging and manipulation from a non-disinterested insider, an accumulation of trivial of deeds develops into an awe inspiring accounting. That’s the type of treatment you should expect at the Malden Yacht Club Blog after the Ol’ Philosophizer sits down to write a recap of our 2010 kayaking season, for I have been known to exaggerate every now and then. But not today. It simply isn’t necessary. The absolute truth is that the Malden Yacht Club had an exceptionally outstanding year! (more…)

Lady Van Tassal:  “Watch your heads!”  (from “Legend of Sleepy Hollow”) 

Silly me, I thought that Halloween was just for kids, but once again, I was wrong. Halloween is for old kids too. Sometimes it just takes an unexpected adrenaline rush to bring that fact home. Like the one I had Thursday night … and like the other one I had on Friday afternoon. If one rush could bring back the thrill of teetering on the edge of anxiety, then two ought to definitely bring back that “AAAHHHH … OMG … that was freakin’ awesome” feeling. It worked for me. Want to hear about it? (more…)